Let me just point out that my family is crazy, no scrap that. Crazy is much too kind a word, and plus I use it too frequently. My mother is one of those types that likes to have her babies around forever, totally cool, but a whack job if you’re not careful. Announcing I was moving out at the tender age of 18 was a little NOT careful on my part, and she didn’t take it well. Now I know what you’re thinking, how did my mom feel about me moving in with 3 men, well let me tell you, she recommended it! Well, not the 3 men part, but she did say I should room with a guy; she was just a little surprised when I told her the specific number. My sister outright called me a slut, but I’m sure she was joking…hopefully. Luckily for me, or perhaps in the long run not so luckily, my mother has recently befriended Kenny, one of the boys I’m to room with, mother. Now my mother makes these little comments every now and again about the two of us ending up together, now let me tell you this, I did go out with the boy once. When I was 11, and that was 7 years ago. It was for a week and very uneventful, so we mutually decided to put it behind us. Plus, my mother is missing the bigger picture, which is the crazy ex-girlfriend. And why does every man have one of those? No seriously, can someone explain to me why there is always a crazy ex-girlfriend. I begin to wonder of the mental state of women after meeting so many guys who told me of their ex threatening their current girlfriends and hacking into their emails. Do they have a club or something? Besides the point, Saly somewhat fit into the crazy girlfriend category. Which consists of:
1) trashing ex behind his back to his friends
2) crying hysterically every time he posts something on Facebook that hints towards it being about her
3) threatening the current girlfriend
4)writing creepy poetry about the ex
And last but not least
5) texting every 5 minutes even though they’re over
I hope to the greater power that someone shoot me if I ever lean towards more than 2 of those things on that list. So, if crazy ex-girlfriend Saly ever did happen to hear Kenny and I eloped in Vegas after our mothers smuggled us across the border and held a rifle against our backs, well now, those rifles would be the least of our worries compared to the fury we would have to face.
I look forward to some future interactions, hopefully none of the violent type. And hopefully my mother will stop accusing me of purposefully trying to hurt her for leaving the nest.
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